Magores is fine. Stupid, but fine.

Long time no see. So how's it going?

I've been away from here, and from email, for a bit. There is no ONE reason for it. It's just alot of reasons that snowballed together.

No excuses. Invalid reasons. But, this is the reality...

-----
Avoid email reason #1 - Pissed off.

Awhile back, I sent an email to an ex-employer of mine in the US. I asked for the $100 that was owed to me. (It had been 4 months or so at that point.) I offered what I thought was a great deal... Don't send me cash. Just register a URL in my name, pay for the registration for the next few years, and we'll call it square. I even offered to do all the research into domains, ISPs that are accessible from Here, etc.

The response I received? "I'll wire it to you. Go to Western Union in Beijing." I grant that there are many locations for wire transfers in Beijing. But, it's not that easy. Language difficulties are just a small part of the equation. Time is a huge issue. The Post Office? 1 hour. The Bank? 1/2 hour. Paying Utilities? Hour and a half. Paying for the phone? 1/2 hour. (And, that's only becuase you can do it at the bank.) Western Union? 4 hours, if you know the language. 14 days if you don't.

Granted, $100 is nothing. But, think about it from my perspective. $100 US dollars is 800 Chinese Dollars. There are people in China that make 100 Chinese Dollars per month. I make Chinese wages. Not as low as my example, but still.

With 800RMB (chinese dollars) I could buy 4 quality mountain bikes, pay rent on a VERY nice apartment for a month, buy 400 beers, buy 800 breakfasts/lunches/dinners, buy 320 liters of Coca-Cola, buy 72 DVDs, buy 7 electric rice cookers.....I think you're getting the point.

$100 means more to me than it does to him. And, I'm offering to spend the money paying US prices, rather than Chinese prices. AND, he doesn't have to pay any Western Union fees. AND, I'm willing to round up, and call it even. AND, he's FAMILY. AND, he says NO?

I was a bit pissed off. (Still am.)

----
Avoid Email reason #2 - Tired

Around that time was Chinese New Year.

China celebrates the Lunar New Year in awesome fashion. But.... After that, everyone works 7 days a week for 3 week to make up for the time lost during the Festival. "Everyone" included me.

Working 7 days a week makes you tired. I think I know this fact better than most. This is a different tired than back in the US though. One hour of 2 year-olds is enough to wear you out. Try 9 hours a day, every day. Yeah, yeah. Parents have no sympathy because they've done it. Probably laughing at me as they read this. In my defense... I'm older than most parents were when they dealt with toddlers. And, I'm not dealing with MY kid. I'm dealing with other people's kids. At current count, I deal with...
-Fourteen 2 year-olds
-Eight 5 year olds
-Eight 7-9 year olds
-Six 4-6 year olds
-Ten 5-7 year olds
-Two-hundred 4-6 year olds (not exaggerating)
-the 3 13 year old class has ended by now

----
Avoid email reason #3 - Turmoil

Amidst all the work, and festivals, was the reality of my life.
-When I arrived here, I had two roommates ( I wasn't expecting any at all.)
-One roommate went home back in November/December. Two new ones moved in.
-The existing orignal roomie wanted to get cuddly. I resisted. (Damn Gentleman)
-Other roommate came back.
-Two newer roomies left.
-Cuddly roomie decided to move back to farmland
-The two newer roomies that left, came back.

----

Avoid email reason #4 - Sad

I did actually login to email awhile ago. The first thing that jumped out at me was that my Grandfather had died.

This is bad. What made it worse was that I had missed the fact that it happened due to reason #1. I learned late. I'll never forgive myself for that.

I learned this fact on a Sunday (China time).

That day, it was just me and "the boss that I'm not hitting on" working. I tried to be a stoic. I tried to keep the "stiff upper lip". I admit. I was not sucessful.

I'm lucky in many ways. First and foremost, my family lives forever. Of course, this makes it harder when people do pass away. And, we're talking about MY GRANDPA. It hurt. The fact that I'm 6000 miles away, and behind the times, made it even worse.

"The boss" sent me home. I was worthless.

My walk home that day was like something out of a horror movie...

A fog made of coal soot hung in the air. My brain was muddled by the burning coal, the news I had just learned, and the fact that I was "not home!"

The walk home from work usually takes 15 minutes. That day, it took 15 hours.

Crossing the street is always an adventure. I can't tell you if I even looked at the lights or the cars that day. I just walked.

I looked at the signs on the stores around me. I looked at the people passing me.

All I could think was, "What the hell am I doing here?"

I don't speak the language. I can't read the language. I can't understand shit! What the hell am I doing here?! I should be home! Here is good, but my family is there! I should be with family!

i was ready to leave this country right then and there.

In the back of my mind though...

-Grandpa went places, saw things, did things. He told stories.
-My Dad went places, saw things, did things. He told stories. (I probably remember more than you think I do.)
-I guess my goal is to have stories to pass to my kids someday. "Grandpa did Europe. Dad did Asia. I did China. You can do anything you want. Just be silly enough to actually try."

Or something like that.

----
Avoiding Email #5 - God is a fucker

So... My grandfather dies. I avoid life for a week. Finally pull myself together and go to work. What happens? I save someones life.

God is a fucker.

I had basically pulled my shit together and went back to work. It was me and "the boss I'm not hitting on" in the office.

She was muching on some corn snack things. All the sudden she starts coughing. I lean back and make a joke about "Should stop smoking". (She doesn't smoke.) Coughing gets worse. I turn around. She's purple. I grab my water and feed it to her. She's purpl-er (is that a word?). What can I do but try the heimlich?

Between the water and the heimlich she starts to breathe again, barely. After a trip to the hospital, it turns out the corn thing had lodged in her esophagus. I had saved her life with my water and the heimlich.

My grandpa dies. A week later, I save a life.

I say again, God is a fucker.

----
Avoidiing email #6 - This shit is hard.

I'm rambling now, so I'll wrap up. In short, it's hard to write things here.

It's hard to think about the day, and write it down, in a hopefully interesting way, in a short time. (I sleep early most days.)

I told myself that I would write about "life in China". It's harder than you might think, and alot harder than I thought it would be, to write stuff down.

My life in China is a lot more than the details of How much does food cost? Is the Great Wall cool? And questions like that.

Life is the same no matter where you are. Details are different, but the fact is that Life Is. Doesn't matter where you are. Life Just Is.

And that's a Good Thing.