Magores the Shoplifter

Okay. My dad gave me a little bit of a hard time yesterday about not posting any stories yet, so I made time today to tell you about how I almost got busted for shoplifting on my 3rd day in Beijing.

This happened about a week or so ago. I had been in Beijing for a total of 3 days at that point.

I did a bunch of running around with one of the Directors from the School, and was on my way home.

On the main street outside my apartment building there are a number of stores: A Supermarket, a tobacco shop, a kodak store, a Qwik Mart, and about 40 hair cutting shops.

So, after a long day of seeing stuff, that I didn't know what I was seeing, I went to the Qwik Mart and bought 3 beers. Two warm bottles, and one cold can. I took my plastic bag o'beer and continued up the street. Simple enough so far.

Next to my apartment building is the supermarket. Remembering that I needed hangers, I went in there. I looked around a bit, found what I needed, and went to pay.

Just as I was walking through the checkstand after paying, two "Ladies in Black" stopped me. The main lady spoke a little English. Basically what she was saying was, "Where did you get these beers? Why didn't you pay for these beers? Where is your receipt for these beers?"

I searched my pocket for the receipt. But, it was a Qwik Mart for gosh sakes! I didn't ask for a receipt.

So, here I am... I've been in the country 3 days. I'm the only American within 5 miles of the place. I haven't registered with the US Embassy yet. I haven't registered with the Beijing police yet, so I'm technically an illegal alien. I don't have a receipt to prove I paid for everything elsewhere. And I have two Ladies in Black accosting me. (Keep in mind that the Beijing police wear black uniforms.)

So, I did what came natural. I ran like the dickens!!!

No. Not really.

I just did what any obnoxious American would do in this spot...

I said... "Look lady. I just bought these down at the Qwik Mart. You can come down there with me right down, and I'll prove it. In fact, you don't even sell these beers here. You don't even sell COLD beer here! Come down to the Qwik Mart and I'll prove that I bought the things down there!"

The whole time I'm thinking... "Look lady. I'm the only white guy within five miles of this place. I draw stares just by EXISTING here! Do you really think that I'm stupid enough to try and steal?"

Another thing to keep in mind, is that anything and everything will draw a crowd in this city. Dead ant? 5 people staring. Falling leaf? 10 people watching. White guy getting hassled by the cops? Priceless.

So, anyway... Cops accusing. White Guy arguing.

Luckily, the other lady in black seemed to see the logic of my arguement (this is after she felt my beer to see it was cold, read the side of the bag to see "Kwik Mart", etc) , so they just kind of waved me out of the store.

Yesterday (one week after these events) was my first time back in that supermarket. Needless to say, I did not bring any bags inside with me, and I kept my hands in plain sight at all times.